As the Deer

Why is it that the first few days following awesome breakthroughs and revelations from God..... I always seem kind of disconnected with everything around me and not quite satisfied with life as we know it?

Is it because I was made for something greater, and having a taste of God's greatness just makes the mediocre everyday things in life seem even more dull and unfulfilling?

Is this what is referred to as "spiritual hunger", or did God just awaken a new aspect of my spiritual being and slough off an aspect of my mortal nature? In the clash between two kingdoms, I understand that I am a supernatural being having an earthly experience, and it appears that I have crossed a threshold and tipped the scales on the balance I was once able to keep.

My imbalance is not a hinderance, but a measurement of growth. The journey will be complete, when I have been transformed from glory to glory so many times .....that there isn't even a shell of my old nature left to compare myself to.

Selah

The Ole Clunker

For the past couple of mornings I have allowed myself a few extra minutes to just sit and rest. Life has been a bit crazy and I've grown somewhat weary. I needed some time to regroup. In my humble opinion, there is virtually nothing that a great cup of coffee, a great view and an uninterrupted time with Papa can't cure.

I have a wonderful front deck with a view of the hills in front of my home. My deck faces east, the view is largely unobstructed and it is one of my favorite places to spend early mornings. The hills are mostly just overgrown and wild and beautiful. They make a gorgeous forefront when the sun is rising(see photo below).

In the twelve years I have lived here, I have never seen a vehicle of any sort traveling on these hills and there are no visible roads. So, imagine my surprise when I caught a glimpse of movement in the brush the other morning. It was so faint that I thought I was just seeing things. I kept watching, and low and behold there it was again. A little pale yellow blob moving slowly upward. I grabbed my binoculars and zeroed in. To my amusement, I discovered the cutest little beat up yellow truck I had ever seen. It looked about 50 years old and had several outward signs of wear and tear.

It is what we (in the auto repair business) would consider.........An Ole Clunker.

I watched as it moved at a steady pace... upward. Every once in a while, it would creep to a stop, roll backward about twenty feet, switch gears to move forward and gain momentum, and then plow through a rough spot in the road. I was so intrigued. I watched this little clunker repeat that process numerous times until it reached the top.

It was at that point that I just burst out laughing!

You see.......I'm like that Ole Clunker.

From the outside, that truck didn't look like much, but that old girl had some heart. Life hadn't always been kind to her but she took the obstacles as they came and determined in her heart that she would indeed reach her mark. It didn't matter if she had to take two steps forward and one step back. All upward movement is progress.

The past few weeks have been a series of minor setbacks for me. I've been dealing with situations that have been really hard not to take offense at. I reached a breaking point the other day and called my buddy for support. I was dealing with what I call an "oxygen sucker", you know, the people and situations that just suck all the oxygen out of the room? LOL

My buddy, my fellow warrior, I love her......... she said, "You were created to live in the high places of God, you're used to less oxygen, smile, you'll be fine!"

Have I mentioned lately how much I ADORE GOD?

I love that He created me and knows me intimately. I love that He knows just how to get my attention. I love the silly but profound visual aid He blessed me with last week.

Reminds me of an old 70's catch phrase......

Trucking For Jesus HA HA HA!

Oh yeah Baby.....I'm moving again.

Downsizing into my next Upgrade

What do you do when your best friend is going through something that will ultimately change the course of their life, and you find yourself completely unable to help them with it? When the news is so hard for them to wrap their head around, that they decide the easiest way to cope, is to pretend it isn't happening at all? When you are frustrated and hurt and getting angry isn't a good option? (you know this for a fact because you tried)

It is from that place of frustration that my upgrade began.

I apologized for my anger. I offered my suggestions. I gave permission for them to handle it their way.

I became quiet.........

quiet..........

quiet..........

Until one day, when my friend, my husband, gave me permission to speak about it.....

I'm sure by now most people know about our house being foreclosed. The sale is final. We are waiting for the bank to give us a moving day. in the mean time, the agent suggested that we stay on the premises. I think they like knowing someone is here so it is not vandalized before they can put it back on the market. (a blessing)

The thing most people do not know is that we were not caught off guard by any of this. (well, maybe a little. It did progress much faster than we anticipated) nevertheless, John and I put a lot of prayer and thought in to our decision to let the house go. We knew when John left his job last April that it was a pretty good possibility that we would no longer be able to pay our bills and our mortgage.

The other thing most people do not know is that John developed signs of Parkinson's a little more than a year ago, his job, with the stress and toxins he was subjected to seemed to make his symptoms worse. He also suffered a mild stroke. It seemed like the best decision for him to take some time to try to heal and recover and hope the symptoms got better.

Now here we are a year after his retirement and his symptoms are not better, in fact they are significantly worse. John didn't want anyone to know, but it has become obvious and folks have started asking questions, and John has said I can now tell people. .

So........

You're probably wondering how the heck the title of this blog even remotely ties in to the content.

Let me explain.....you see.....

The Lord is my comfort and my strength. When you are in the middle of what seems like a crisis, you learn real quick where your help comes from. You begin to understand what it truly means to abide in Christ. When you turn to the Lord absolutely broken and lay all your cares before the Throne Of Grace, God will step in and bring sweet communion. He draws so near that you can feel His tangible presence in your midst. There is nothing else like it.

And that my friends, is where John and I are abiding. We know that whatever adversity life brings us, God will make a way. We have no fear of the future. We continue to pray and absolutely trust God has this entire situation under control.

I am no longer a tourist.... but a traveler

I have been in a transitional period in my life and I feel like I have crossed a threshold of sorts. Whether this has happened in the natural yet... remains to be seen, but it has definitely happened in my mind. I'm ok with that, because I have found that the inner territory is the place I face the most resistance anyway. Maybe you can identify with that statement, or maybe I've just completely lost your interest, but I would like to share my thoughts either way.

I have discovered that I am no longer a tourist but a traveler in the Kingdom. Let me define that for you.

As a tourist, I would tend to go places that I had gone before, places that were somewhat familiar. I would often choose a destination that would allow me time to rest, regroup and refuel. I have a tendency to pack light, knowing that I can pick up any items that I may have forgotten once I arrive. I really love to plan vacations that take me away from everyday life and allow for times of refreshing.

But.....

As a traveler, I am joyfully partnering with Papa God, as He takes me on epic journeys to places I have never been, to see things I have never seen and to do things I have never done. I don't have to worry about what to pack, everything I need for the journey flows to me from Him.

He leads me with His voice and I need only to listen. He encourages me with His love and I need only to trust Him. My heart is filled with joyful anticipation. I do not need to know what is around the next bend in the road, I only need to feel His leading and keep traveling upward.

A spirit of refreshing goes before me and I will follow Him anywhere.

My Due North

I never really understood what some people were referring to when they taught about "alignment" with God. I mean, I understand what the definition of the word is, but I just couldn't wrap my head around the definition having anything to do with being a Christian. I had so many questions.What does it mean? What does it look like? How do I get there?

I love to listen to good Bible teachings. There are so many great ones available to us these days. We have an information highway at our fingertips. We can use a search engine to find scripture references, dream interpretation, the latest "buzz" in the church world. It's awesome, it's amazing and it's scary!

Not scary in a "boogeyman" kind of way, scary in a "I don't want to be deceived" kind of way. We have to make sure we don't take every teaching at face value. We need to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. We need to make sure we are following the right master's voice. I also think it's important that we don't label a move of God as bad just because it doesn't fall into the perimeters of our limited understanding.

I feel compelled to gently warn you here. We cannot take short cuts into maturity in Christ. We cannot ride on someone else's anointing. We cannot hitchhike on someone else's personal journey. We cannot be lazy about our pursuit of the One. We need to spend time in our sacred place on our face in prayer and thanksgiving with the one our soul longs for. When we spend personal time with God, we learn to know His voice. We must know that we know that we know the genuine Word of God rightly divided to be able to recognize the counterfeit ways of this present world.

SELAH

And now......the Bright side.

There are no shortcuts to maturity but there is Divine Acceleration. God can restore anything, including time, by bringing a spirit of acceleration into your life. (gratitude to Graham for the lesson)

We can't ride on someone else's anointing, but we can hang around with them. I've always taught my kids that, "you are who your friends are". Good or bad it's true. If you know someone who walks close to Papa and you see something in their lifestyle that honors Jesus, hang around with them. It will rub off on you.

You can't be a hitchhiker on someone else's journey, but you can be an invited guest. If you discover someone who's journey makes your heart yearn to walk a similar path, come alongside them and offer to serve with them. Help them. You may just discover that their path widens in areas and makes room for you to walk shoulder to shoulder with them for a while.

And finally, don't be lazy in your pursuit for more of God. Lose sleep, skip meals, cancel cable and simplify your life. Prune away anything that does not produce Godly fruit.

The adventure of a lifetime is yours for the asking. Find your Due North and let His light be reflected in you. Strap on your boots and pack light, because everything we need to live an overcoming life flows to us from Him.

His whisper is like the breeze.

As I reflect on my life, I realize that there has never been a time when The Father has not been right beside me. At a very early age, He was my comforter. I used to have terrible nightmares, and I can remember opening the Bible and laying it across my little five year old chest and falling asleep feeling His presence.

I used to talk to God as if He were in the same room. I saw Heavenly images. It wasn't until I was a few years older that I would "learn" that my perception of God was wrong. I don't know if I was taught directly or indirectly, but I learned that God was on His throne and far away. I learned that He was watching over us from a distance and that He expected and rewarded certain behaviors and punished others.

I wasn't taught or even encouraged to entertain the idea that God was with us, in us and for us. That religious mindset led me to many years of searching for God and then ultimately, to many years of running from His love.

Thankfully, my loving Papa God passionately pursued me. From one end of my rebellion to the other, He walked beside me, protected me and continued to love me.

Until one day, when He leaned in so close....so close, and I heard Him whisper in my ear. He said, "I'm still here. Nothing you have done has surprised me or caused me to turn away."

I WAS UNDONE.

Papa spoke straight in to my heart and with one sentence, He destroyed the work of the enemy. With one whisper he drew me in to the wilderness to seek Him and then He let me find Him.

I am smitten by the beauty of The King of Kings. I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

It's been a while.

I stumbled upon this old blog today and I can't help but to smile.

I read all of my past posts. I spent some time getting reacquainted with the person who sat at this computer more than two years ago, sharing the ramblings of my own mind. Some of the posts made me laugh, others made me cry. Many of them brought confirmation of growth. I am not the same person I was two years ago. (Thank you Jesus)

I feel like I have emerged from the wilderness. I have a new understanding of who I am in Christ. Papa God has kept me hidden and quiet. It has been wonderful, and I am emerging with a new lens and a new voice.

Life is a sweet dance with the lover of my soul. I am really looking forward to this next season of adventure. I don't know where the path is going, I've walked to the edge of my map (thank you Graham Cooke for that perspective and teaching). I am at peace, at rest and at the same time filled with expectation. I am joyful, hopeful and have my eye on the horizon. I will try to remember to wander back here once in a while so I can describe the landscape.

God is so good. His plans for us are good. He loves us so completely. Ponder that and let it fill you.

Blessings.