NO Resolutions

I wont bore you with my rant on New Year's Resolution here again this year. I think I covered it fully last year at this time. I dont make resolutions, I find it pointless.

I was listening to KLOVE yesterday, however, and they had a great alternative to making New Year's Resolutions and I'm gonna give it a go. They encouraged everyone to pick one single word. It can be anything. The goal is to start each day with the word on your mind and find a way to make it relevant throughout the day. "A word to live by" sorta speak. After pondering that concept for a while, I came up with my word. It will be "HOLY". In all that I do, all that I speak and all of my thoughts I will strive to be more Holy.

Im not saying that until now I havent tried to be holy, but lets face it, life happens and with all the distractions its very easy to put God on the back burner some days. Im gonna strive NOT to do that.

Anyone want to join me? What would you choose for your word?
Have Blessed New Year.

Remembering.......

It's that time of year again when we take a few moments to let the people in our lives know just how much they mean to us by adding a hand written note to all our Christmas cards. As John and I sat down to work on them this evening, it was a subtle reminder that his mom will be celebrating her first Christmas in Heaven this year. As happy as I am for her, I am equally saddened for all of us.

We miss her so very much. Then I started looking through old photos and found this one of Gramma J and Autie. It's one of my favorites. It made me smile so Im posting it here. Im going to do my very best to carry that smile with me in the coming weeks. I can smile because I know there is a hope and a future in Christ.

Im so anxious for the Lord's return. I long for the day when we see Jesus face to face and can be reunited with all the people we love who made it home before us.

New York

Of all the photos that I took in New York last month, this one makes me laugh the most. We were thawing out in the restroom of all places at the Waldorf Astoria. We had checked out of our room and taken a 3 hour city tour on the top of a double decker bus. It was COLD! We met back at the hotel and had a little time to kill before our shuttle picked us up to take us to the airport. We found ourselves in the restroom. It had a lovely sitting area, it was warm and the chairs were so comfy. This is Belen and Autumn making faces in the mirror and I just happened to catch them off guard from the upper level behind their chairs. Definitely a kodak moment. ha ha

Genesis 1:1

Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

What an awesome weekend!

This weekend I went to the Women of Faith Conference in Portland. It always suprises me how much I get out of those gatherings, and this year was no exception.

I was especially thankful for the presentation given by Marcus Buckingham. He wrote a book called "Find Your Strongest Life". In a nutshell, he has catagorized our God given strengths to help us learn what role we were born to play and how we can honor what is true about ourselves. He went on to tell us to stop striving for BALANCE but rather to strive for FULLNESS. That was the "lightbulb" moment for me.

It was so liberating to hear this guy tell us that we arent all wired the same, that we were all created to fullfill a different purpose and that was God's plan all along so that we would like.....need each other. I know that some of you are thinking, well DUH!!! I know, I know... we've heard this theory more than once, but I've never heard this message in a more tangible way and given tools to examine myself to find out what my strengths really are.

It's so easy for me to spend a little time with someone and realize exactly what their strengths are, but it's been near impossible for me to realize my own. SO here is a little truth about me. Loving people comes easily for me (most of the time). I mean really caring for them, right where they are, all the bad with the good. I believe that God brings people into my life one at a time and allows me to make a difference by showing them a glimpse of God's love. There have been times when I have had to defend myself for not being the kind of person who can engage in conversation with a large group of people. Im NOT a mingler, I can actually feel my palms get sweaty when fellowship time comes around and I am expected to get up and chit chat with people and I have felt really bad about that.

How can I stand in front of hundreds of people and sing, yet I can not walk up to a stranger or even an acquaintance and think of one single thing to strike up a conversation with. How come my husband can walk up to someone and ease into a conversation about absolutely nothing that last for 30 minutes?? This is not a gender thing, this is a God thing!

I yam what I yam and Im really looking forward to reading Marcus' book and finding out how I can use my strengths to further God's kingdom.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...........

I bet you thought this post was going to be about Christmas didn't you? ha ha ha gotcha.

Truth is Fall has always been my favorite time of the year. I love the cool mornings and the warm afternoons. The sunsets this time of year are breathtaking! The harvest moon (aka The month of September's full moon) looks like you can just reach up and touch it.

I love that the tourists all GO HOME in September and that the kids go back to school. I even love the annual trip to the city to buy school clothes. This year, however, Im loving that I dont HAVE to buy school clothes. All four of my sons are now high school graduates and my darling Autie-pooh will continue to be home schooled. Forever. :)

I've been getting up an hour before the alarm the past few weeks and enjoying my cup of coffee instead of slamming it down on my way to work. It taste so much better when you can savor it. Note to self...... slow down and savor more than just your coffee. Life is sweet, my family is precious and God is good. Need I say more?

Chef Autae'

I was so impressed by Autumn's first attempt at making homemade pizza from scratch that I had to share a few photos.



I have never tried to make pizza dough myself.



She made beating the dough look like so much fun that I wanted to help,



but when I asked if I could help she very politely said.....




"Ummmm nooooo, I really want to make it all by myself"



And so she did.

Summer, Summer, Summer......

Summer is officially finally here!

I have such fond memories of Summer when I was growing up. Most years I got to fly to Texas and spend the entire summer with my mom. I had friends there and each summer when we were reunited, we'd spend hours and hours swimming, crawdad fishing or riding bikes on the white rock roads. I loved when the sun went down and the fireflies came out. It all just felt magical somehow.

Looking back I can honestly say that the everyday events really stand out in my mind far better than the well planned camping trips or road trips. The grand adventures were fun too, but the best times were just the unstructured wandering of three little girls without a care in the world. We were all the same age, we had the same name and the neighbors all just referred to us as "the 3 Lisas". Good times.

I hope that I have somehow passed my love of adventure on to my five kids. With the boys all grown, I have to remember to make a special effort with Autie. Sometimes I feel like she got a little short changed in life. She doesnt have any siblings the same age and her parents are "old" ha ha. She does, however, have ME all to herself most of the time so I guess it's a fair trade off. I'll just have to stay young at heart. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go, my super soaker is all filled up and I have to go sneek up on Autie.

Random thought

This makes little sense, I will acknowledge that right up front, but here goes anyway.

The past several nights I have been awakened at 3am. Now, I know from experience that anytime I come fully awake at 3am for no reason (ie:no loud noise, nothing out of the ordinary going on)I know this is God wanting to have some quiet time with me.
I usually just stay quiet and listen to what He may have to say to me. Then I begin to pray and seek. I usually fall back asleep praying. Sometimes that's the end of the story and sometimes intense dreams follow this prayer time.

I usually wake up from these dreams with an anxious heart. I wont bother posting the dream's details here because I dont yet fully understand what they even mean. I will tell you that a song enters my heart and begins to comfort me at these time. The song assures me that everything will be okay and "He will deliver me". My fear goes completely away.

What does this all mean?? I have no idea. I warned you this was a random thought.
Why am I posting this?? Because the Holy Spirit wants me to assure someone that in our greatest hour of need, GOD is going to deliver us.

I am certain that the person this message is intended for will find it.
To God be all the glory.

Satan is alive and well

I have to tell you that this has been quite a week. What ever could go wrong has gone wrong. Im not just talking about myself here, the folks around me have had a trial of a week too. So.....it should have come as no suprise to me yesterday when a customer at my job lashed out at me. First of all they were rude on the phone and when they didnt get the reaction they wanted, they showed up in person to remind me just how flawed I am.

It has happened on more than one occasion over the years and each time I try to handle the situation with grace. I have been cussed at, yelled at, called stupid and incompetent. I usually have divine intervention as the Lord seals my lips and I sit speechless. I am usually able to eventually brush it off. I just figure if blaming ME allows someone to justify the chip on their shoulder, than I can take it.

Yesterday, however, was a little different. The final blow, the arrow that pierced my heart was when this person told me that they were sure that I just didnt care. "wow, that hurt". The person does not know me. They have no idea that I care deeply about many things.

Satan used this person to try and ruin my testimony. He wanted me to crack under the pressure, to yell and hurt back. I stood firm. As a last resort he hit me where I live, knocked the wind right out of me and danced in victory as my spirit crumpled.

1 Peter 5:8 reminds me to be self-controlled and alert. My enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

The spiritual battle is alive and well and it is not just being faught in the Heaven's on our behalf, no friend, the battle is going on right here at ground zero and we must keep the armor on.

Pondering Holiness

"Follow holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord"
Hebrew 12:14

Points to ponder........

Submission is the only way into God's holiness. Without holiness, we wont see God's presence in our daily walk, our family, our witness or our ministry. He watches over our struggles to be holy with great patience. Only God has the power to keep us holy, we can never accomplish it in our own strength. Which brings me back full circle..... Submission is the only way into God's holiness!

Such a simple concept to grasp, but easier said than done. Im trying, I really am. I take great comfort in knowing my Savior understands my feelings.

Added bliss:
My daughter sings in her sleep. Once in a while, I can hear her singing songs we've heard on KLOVE. It touches me so deeply to hear her singing to our Heavenly Father while she is sleeping. How sweet is that?!?

Be A Light Unto The World

Somewhere in the middle of a very casual conversation the other
night a young adult began to pour their heart out to me about
their childhood. You see, she was raised in "the system". I
have to tell you that the story of her life just broke my heart
into pieces. Anyone who really knows me, knows that I have an
absolute weakness when it comes to children. If I could, I would
gather all the hurting, broken kids that I come into contact with
and just bring them home with me.

This conversation was so difficult. I was mad and screaming
on the inside at her circumstances, but I knew that it was
very important that I just quietly listen without reacting.
I just wanted to weep at how she talked so matter of factly
about the abuse that she endured on a regular basis.
As I sat there, The Holy Spirit spoke to me saying, "Just
love her, she will be mine, just love her".

The Lord instructed me to get this person a Bible. I prayed
over this Bible with another prayer warrior before giving it to
her. God heard our prayers. The first time she opened this
Bible to read it, the Lord took her to a verse that He chose
just for her. She found healing and comfort in that verse
and turned her life over to God!

What an awesome God we have. What an awesome
responsibility he has given each of us to shine His light
to the world. We are called to Love others as He has loved
us.
*************
sidenote:

The alarm rang at 6:30 am. I threw back the covers and got
up for work as usual. I made my side of the bed. I went out
to the kitchen, turned on the coffee pot, checked on the
kiddo sleeping and then went back to my room to get
ready. I went into the bathroom, washed my face, brushed
my teeth and got dressed. I walked back to my side of the
bed to get my purse off the floor and noticed 2 shining coins
sitting there where I had recently been sleeping. I thought,
"WHAT IN THE WORLD?" How did they get there?
There is no way that I could have slept with them there
without them falling. It is even less likely that I could have
made the bed with out noticing them or disrupting
them, yet there they sat side by side. I woke John up to
see if he had put them there. He didnt. He thought I
was crazy.

I wonder if God was trying to get my attention, maybe He
wanted me to blog today. Maybe someone else will be
blessed by something He would have me write. Maybe
I AM crazy, but I decided to share this story anyway.

Reflections

Someone referred to me as "old" the other day. They came up behind me and made a wisecrack and then stood there waiting for my reaction. I think I disappointed them when I laughed and said "Im old and I own it baby!"

I love being middle aged, or over the hill or whatever they call 46 these days. I would not want to be twenty years old again, or thirty something for that matter. I would not want to live any moment of my life over again, because you see, what most people dont know about me is that my entire life's journey has been completely UPHILL!!

Most people know that I am somewhat quiet in public, but the truth is Im quietly rebellious. I have had to learn every single lesson in my life the hard way. I am strong willed but I have also learned great patience.

So yeah! Im old if old means finally reaching a plateau in my life. I dont miss the uphill struggles. I dont mind the even ground one bit. Life is good and God is great!

I dont believe I will ever really get old. I fully believe that we'll be in glory long before I am able to tap into my social security benefits. You may disagree with me on that point and thats your prerogative, but I'm keeping my lamp trimmed and burning anyway.

I know I must be homesick

Lately........ all I can think about is going Home. I read about it in scripture. I dwell on it throughout the day. I imagine that I see glimpses of it in the sky as Im making pictures. I dream about it sometimes at night.

Lord, your will be done but come quickly. I long to see Your face.

Oh!! That's what that ment!

I love 'light bulb moments' concerning the Bible. I was raised in church hearing The Word preached 5 times a week by our pastor. He was a fire and brimstone Pentacostal preacher who loved God. I respected his preaching and accepted his authority as the leader of our flock. We all loved brother John.

As an adult, however, I have found (on more than one occasion) that I am confused by some meanings of some verses in the Bible. I read the scripture. I re-read the scripture. My brain goes into a dialogue with itself. I reason and argue with myself. How can it mean one thing when my whole life I have believed it to mean another based on what I was taught.........in church?

I am just so thankful to be surrounded by sound Bible teachers at this point in my life. As I read and study The Word, so much more light is being shed on the Bible's true meaning.

Now dont laugh, but I just realized that when the Bible says that "All men shall be judged" it was reffering to the lost being judged for their sins and God's children being judged to be rewarded. Rewarded?? I was taught and always thought that even tho we are saved we will still have to answer for things we have done. In Bible study I was told that when I sit in judgement I will be given my rewards!!!! I was blown away. I dont need to be rewarded!!! Just let me enter in to the kingdom, that is my reward. Just let me pitch a tent in the backyard of someone else's mansion. Let me trade each jewel in my crown for the soul of someone I cherish so that they may enter the kingdom with me. The Lord died for me. What reward could possibly mean more than that?

There is just no measure of the depth of the Father's love for us.

All who 'wonder' are not lost.

I have a very annoying habit that Im trying to get a handle on. I sit down at my computer with every intention of JUST reading email, but then a yahoo story catches my eye and I CLICK on it. It always turns out the same way....... the oneliner (bait) that they hooked me with is always the most interesting part of the story (and.... they've reeled me in!) Then its off to check the local weather (hmmm, I wonder what the weather is doing in Hawaii right now......"click") I check my bank activity (hmmm, I wonder what the stock market is doing.........."click")Then to my favorite Prophecy websight to read about Isreal, which leads me to wonder what people have written on the facebook link to it and then I check my blog and, and, and, Im left thinking..."What a waste of time that was!!!"

With a "click click here and a click click there, here a click there a click everywhere a click click" I get completely off track! Its a curse! I have a very inquisitive mind.

Am I alone here? Or does anyone else have a wondering mind?
**********
Lord...I pray that You help me get lost in You and all Your wonder and amazement.

Life is good but chocolate is better.

Things have calmed down considerably this past month and we are settling back into a comfortable little groove as the days get longer and warmer.... er ah.... we have a promise of warmer days ahead, I mean summer will arrive eventually!! Right??

We've made a few postive changes as a family. We're trying to eat a little better, trying to get out and move more. We joined a Tuesday night Bible Study and....(drumroll please)
We finally gave up CABLE TV! Ive been talking about it forever, but we finally pulled the plug.

John is still in withdrawals and I promised to reconnect it again in time for football season, but for now I am so grateful not to come home to a blarring television. I really detest it most of the time. Im more of a music lover. I enjoy renting a movie once in a while and I enjoy watching football (yes, I really do! ha ha) I understand the sport and I like having something to share with John, but other than that, Im good.

So.. life is good, my evenings are quiet and we are Blessed.

Pennies from Heaven

I love to reflect on time and events and observe the hand of God in so many small but significant ways. Sometimes my life is just zipping by so fast that I don't always see the blessing until I am quiet and still. It is then that I realize that He always gives me exactly what I need, rather than simply what I thought I wanted.

Im like the grain of sand that begins as an irritation in the oyster shell. The oyster continually washes over it, making it smooth and more compatible. Then it changes from this jagged, useless 'thing' into a beautifully polished pearl. Im a LONG way from being a pearl, but I am happy that God is washing over some of my rough spots and smoothing them over.

Yes........Im still here.

A good friend emailed me 2 days ago to ask me why I hadnt been blogging for nearly 3 weeks. Altho, considering Feb only had 28 days it has really only been like 2 weeks, but she does like to be dramatic. I truthfully told her... I have no answer other than I just do not feel like I have one single worth while thing to say.
So, here I sit at my computer attempting to find one interesting thing in my life to share with all of you and I have NOTHING. HA HA HA
That is all.

WV short story conclusion

I didn't know how long I'd been sleeping when I heard the quiet whispers. So many soft voices seemed to be hovering in the air above me, altho I couldn't quite make out what they were saying. I looked to my left side to see if Allekie was awake, but she wasn't there. She was several yards away dancing in the tall surtermis grass and singing in the Wildpoi's native language of Ressol. It was a joyful sight. I began to play along on my rinjan. We danced and played for hours under the moon in this faraway land with our new found friends.

There we were all alone, two small children far from home, yet we felt no fear. We knew that we were dancing under the same moon that shines down in our own backyards. We knew we were experiencing all the joy, beauty and wonder of the same creator. We both knew that there was no way that we could trap a Wildpoi and take it from it's beautiful home. We also knew that the elders back in Nonabi would never believe what we had seen and heard without some sort of proof, but that was okay.

Allekie and I made a pact that night. We made a promise to protect that valley. I've never told another soul about the journey we took nearly 75 years ago. The only proof I have is my own failing memory and a faded old sketch made many years ago by a wide-eyed eight year old with enough imagination to fill a hundred lifetimes.




(all copyrights reserved Lisa Smidt)

WV short story part 3

By late morning the sun was making great strides in overpowering the cloud cover. Every so often, we could see the brilliant flicker from the Island of Prete
as the sun's rays danced across the phydre covered hills. We were nearly to the inner gratinac of it's beach and we couldn't help but to squeel with excitement.

We tied the conse to a large Istion branch, grabbed our gear and made our way up the Afeduplu Mountain. It was the tallest point on the island and we knew that once we were at the top we would have a clear view of the valley below. Afeduplu Mountain was breath taking, altho the phydre crystals made it difficult to climb. More than once we lost our footing and skinned our hands & knees. I was grateful that we had bandages and paingu.

We made it to the highest peak just before sundown & we were exhausted. Allekie and I nibbled on dried butfulat and drank sparingly from our jug of swerige. As we sat there quiet and still waiting to catch a glimpse of the elusive Wildpoi below, the long journey seemed to catch up with us and we both dozed off.

WV short story part 2

Allekie and I were well prepared for our adventure. Our travels began just before daybreak on the banks of the Midvein River, where we borrowed a sturdy conse from a local fisherman. He made us promise that we'd return it by night fall so that he could fill his nets with codpio for the fresh market the following morning, and we had every intention of doing just that.

We secured our chantsues with the spare oars as a primitive shelter to keep the rain off of our heads. We had our course set. Allekie offered to take the first turn rowing the conse while I settled back and began to play a tune on my rinjan. My intention had been to cheer us with the music but the melody was somehow haunting.

Perhaps we were naive to think that we could quietly slip in and out of the Wildpoi Valley without harm. We thought we were prepared for most anything. We had a perconk that could be used to bribe the Coutioni Tribe for safe passage. We had plenty of fresh water and we had brought along a hearty lunch of butfulat and turamici.

WV short story part 1

I awoke to the sound of distant thunder. It wasn't startling like you might imagine but actually more of a soothing deep roambil whisper calling to me from a far off place. The sky had been pouring rain all week and I so wished that it would greet me on this Saturday morning with cheerful rays of warmth, but alas, It did NOT.

I pulled the quilt up tight around my neck and began to mentally make a list of the inside chores that I could get done today, altho, I wasn't in the mood for chores.

I wanted to get out and stretch my limbs and explore my yard. I wanted to work the soil and start preparing the ground for my keplish. I wanted to prune the lifeless branches from the chodifie trees and begin the process of tucking Winter quietly away and welcoming Spring to my little corner of Nonabi.

AHH Spring! A time when all things can become new again. The arnica plants come to life, the birds begin to sing their melodies and all creatures great and small come out of hibernation to relish this beautiful creation we call Home.

As I laid there all snug as a larvous bug in a rug I began to recall a day in my childhood that began much like this one. I was eight years old and into everything. I was born with an adventurous heart, and when I over heard the elders in the Chollolee shop one day whispering about the legendary Wildpoi Valley, I began to devise a plan to find the Island of Prete.

I enlisted the help of my best friend Allekie. She was a full year older than I, but she was far less brave. I had to promise Allekie that if we did indeed capture a Wildpoi, I would let her keep it as her very own treasure.

(copyrights belong to Lisa Smidt. Please do not reproduce without permission. Thanks)

Word Verification

I will apologize for this random post ahead of time, but I really cant help myself. Im just so very curious. Does anyone else wonder about the definitions of those crazy words in the "word verification" box? You know the ones. When you try to post a comment, you have to retype the random word to make sure you are a human and not a computer droid wrecking internet havoc by posting unwanted comments to the unsuspecting masses. Can anyone tell me what a CHODIFIE looks like?? ha ha ha
Id also really like to know if a WILDPOI is an animal, vegetable or mineral. Just for the fun of it, Im going to keep a list of them for a while and try to incorporate them into a short story. So, to everyone reading this..... have a sedrupar night! ha ha ha That is all...........

It's Baaacccckkkkk

I knew it was coming, it couldnt stay away any longer. I heard it begin a few minutes ago and now I hear it gently trickle down my window. I cant say that Ive missed it at all. We have had the most glorious week of sunshine. A promise of good things to come. Last week we were able to enjoy BBQ's, walks on the beach, picnics and fishing. The Lord knew we needed a little sunshine and I am grateful. We now begin the countdown to Spring.

How can you doubt it?

It is completely beyond me how anyone can look at this vast ocean or gaze in to this incredible sunset and not see the hand of God. This is His marvelous creation and it is a gift.

letter to no one.....

Yesterday, I sat down at my computer to send you an email like I do nearly every week. It wasnt until I clicked on your name in my address book, that I realized you would never read my message. It slipped my mind somehow that you arent there anymore. I really miss you. "My Mayberry" just wont ever be the same.

The winds of change are a blowin'

It's been a while since my last blog. Its hard to put thoughts into words when your heart is broken. When Im hurt, I get very quiet and turn inward. I do feel God working on me though. I know I'll come out of this newest phase of my life a better person. Real change is never easy or comfortable, but I welcome it.

Something happened to me in Minnesota last month. As I was standing there in that beautiful church filled with people that loved my mother-in-law......I realized that I was a part of something huge. I am a part of a very large family legacy began by Jeannette and Arnie 55 years ago this month. It made me proud and it made we want to be a better person. It made me want to live up to feeling worthy of all the blessings God has poured down on our family over the years. I know I will never really be worthy of His blessings and sacrifice, but that's what Grace is all about.

Random thought over. Have a Blessed Day.

Im tired of saying "Goodbye"

Last Sunday morning when we were getting ready for church I had a feeling of intense sorrow hit me like a tidal wave. I urged John to call home to Minnesota only to find that his mother had just passed away. I was crushed. It was overwhelming.

During Sunday school, we found out that the viewing was Tuesday, the service was Wednesday...... I had a meltdown. God provided (as he always does) a way home.

Monday morning we caught a plane to Minnesota and spent the next several days in a whirlwind of family duties. Several hundred people attended the service! What a life my mother-in-law had. What a beautiful, wonderful, faithful life she had. She wasn't perfect but she was very loved and very blessed and will be missed terribly.

I believe that God is always in control and works all things out according to His will and His perfect plan. I trust Him.

Having said that............ I must add that I am weary. I dont want to say goodbye to anyone else that I love for a while. Its childish I know, but thats me. Im simple and sometimes very childish. I know that I'll soon have to say goodbye to someone else I love. When the time comes I will do my very best to remember that while I was praying for a miracle.... the Lord was already granting a miracle. God gave us a little more time. The hardest thing to do is pray for God's will and not my own. Today, I surrender my will.

It's still raining, yet I will praise HIM

It's been a rough week. Two hours after my last post we got a phone call that John's mom was in the ER. She had been feeling ill for a few days but hadn't told anyone. Without going in to graphic detail, I'll just say that she needed some major surgery. It was very tough on her, she has several other health issues. She has been in ICU at the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota ever since. We are so far away. We have no choice but to wait and Pray and trust that God is in control. I know He has a perfect plan, but one of the hardest things in the world for me to do is just sit back and wait. Im the one that always has to have everything figured out. Its a real weakness in me.

My heart aches. I want to go home, but I have to let John make his own decision about a trip home, even if I dont agree with him.

My song of the hour........ by Mercy Me

"Bring The Rain"

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

What is going on??

For the past three days my heart has been so heavily burdened. Do you ever get the feeling that something just isnt "right"?? I can't put my finger on it, but I know a storm is brewing. I have cried all the way to work for the past three mornings. This is just not like me. I've been praying asking God to reveal whatever it is to me, but I guess its just not time yet. Life has been really hard for a while, but Im not complaining. I always hold on to the hope that God will bring me thru whatever he brings me to.
There is so much running through my mind right now, things I want to say, but I think I'll just stop and be quiet for a while. That is all.

Im Forgiven

I really really love the song called FORGIVEN by Sanctus Real.
The words in the ending bridge just speak to my Soul.
"When I dont measure up to much in this life.............
Im a treasure in the arms of Christ"

That really says it all doesnt it? Peace out :)
****************************
Here are all the lyrics.

Well the past is playing with my head
And failure knocks me down again
I'm reminded of the wrong
That I have said and done
And that devil just wont let me forget

In this life
I know what I've been
But here in your arms
I know what I am

I'm forgiven
I'm forgiven
And I dont have to carry
The weight of who I've been
Cause I'm forgiven

My mistakes are running through my mind
And I'll relive my days, in the middle of the night
And I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride
Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry

When I don’t fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere
When I don’t measure up to much in this life
Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ

Out with a bang! Well, Not exactly.

The End of the Year 2009 came and went with little to no fanfare at our home this year. We did not have friends over to celebrate, we had no fire works, no plans and made no resolutions.

We all just kind of hung out at home doing our own thing. I was reading. The guys were playing ps3, John & Autie were watching an "America's Funniest Videos" marathon. (side note...... why is that when someone's unfortunate mishap is caught on film, one in which they were obviously hurt, why is THAT FUNNY? Im sorry, maybe Im a minority, but I dont think human suffering in any way, shape or form is funny! vent over.)

Reflecting on 2009. It was a rather tough year both emotionally and financially. By mid December I was feeling a little bruised in Spirit, had let myself get run down and was fighting the chest cold crud that everyone else had. I found myself hibernating the last few days of the year. I used the time to pray more.

Like I mentioned earlier, I didnt make any resolutions for 2010. I saw no point. The definition of a New Year's resolution should read..... "An unrealistic promise made to one's self. Holding no credibility or consequence, as we have no one to hold us accountable if we fail".

Instead..... Im making a commitment to God. I will love more. I will give more. I will be more forgiving. I will judge less. I will want for less. I will pray more.
There is no way to fail. He is my strength. He will finish the good work He has started in me. :)